I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
