I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
