I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
