New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
