Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
