My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I love you. Go after that dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
