yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize