She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
