You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
