Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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