You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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