I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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