he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
