real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
