You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think i just lost a toe
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
