Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
