how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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