he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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