My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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