I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
