Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
