dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
