my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ketchup is God's man juice
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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