There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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