I wish I could punch you in the face.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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