GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
