I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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