i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
