I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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