so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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