Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize