I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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