She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
