Plan B is the new Plan A
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
