Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
