I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pooping to opera.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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