if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
