he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
