As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
