can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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