oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
