You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
