just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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