Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
