meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
