dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
