when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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