Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
