I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
not ubering you a puppy
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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