I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
