D3 body, D1 cock
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
