wat bout pragnant strippers??
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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