I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
