Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
