1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
