Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize