Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
