I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone owes me an orgasm
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize