I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
