you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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