i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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